location: living room
music: JYJ whole album (current: Empty)
Today I had my first Japanese Lesson.
It was quite interesting and I was grinning like a happy child – who got a lollipop from their parents for being such a good child – during the lesson.
But I must admit: Japense is really a difficult language. I knew this, but I never thought it would be that hard.
Nevertheless, I want to do this. This was one of my life-wishes and I want it to be true.
So I need to work every day hard, shouln’t be hard because I have the time.
After dropping out my college (I had to do it -.-, because I failed my exam), I have plenty of time now until I know what I want to study and to which collage I want to go.
It was really a shock, because I thought I will pass my exam…after I found it out, I was in a desperate situation, because my field of my study was my dream-occupation since I was a little child. I couldn’t sleep whole two damn weeks and my sleeping habbits are not better but hopefully I can manage to sleep 3-4 hours without waking up. Everbody who did go through similiar feelings know how the feelings are…I can’t express it but I had and will have this huge hole in my soul or heart until when? I don’t know….Now it had been 4 weeks for me founding out about my failure and I still don’t know what to do to stop this emptiness in my heart.
My new hope is my Japanese Lesson….But after todays class I think it will help…I really think.
What do you think?